shiraglassman:

katehawkingbirdbishop:

shiraglassman:

grandenchanterfiona:

I feel like the reason there aren’t any ‘Jewish hero fights the Fair Folk’ stories is because we’d easily get out of that situation.

Like, put Hershel of Ostropol in any situation involving the Fair Folk and bro would talk his way out.

This is why I’m not really scared of paranormal beasties. But yes, I’d enjoy reading this happen.

Names have power? Give them your secular name and not your Hebrew one.

If you eat their food you’re trapped? It’s not kosher anyways.

They speak in riddles? What, and you didn’t grow up answering a question with a question?

Confuse the Fair Folk with impossible halachic questions: if a man falls off a roof and onto a woman and as a result she becomes pregnant, is he obligated to marry her and is the child a mamzer? If meat is grown in a laboratory from a mix of various animal cells is it kosher, and is it even meat, and what bracha would you even say on it? Is a unicorn permitted to cleanse a poisoned stream on Shabbat using the innate purifying powers of its horn or does it count as work? Can it be justified as pikuach nefesh? Can necromancy be justified as pikuach nefesh, if one approaches necromancy with the understanding that it is just delayed medical assistance?

And if all else fails, you can always get out a fleischig pan, kick ass and take names, and don’t forget to say the blessing for fucking someone’s day up:

BARUCH ATA ADO-NOT TODAY ASSHOLE

That ending line just killed me so hard omg 😂😂😂😂