Tag: jumblr

shiraglassman:

katehawkingbirdbishop:

shiraglassman:

grandenchanterfiona:

I feel like the reason there aren’t any ‘Jewish hero fights the Fair Folk’ stories is because we’d easily get out of that situation.

Like, put Hershel of Ostropol in any situation involving the Fair Folk and bro would talk his way out.

This is why I’m not really scared of paranormal beasties. But yes, I’d enjoy reading this happen.

Names have power? Give them your secular name and not your Hebrew one.

If you eat their food you’re trapped? It’s not kosher anyways.

They speak in riddles? What, and you didn’t grow up answering a question with a question?

Confuse the Fair Folk with impossible halachic questions: if a man falls off a roof and onto a woman and as a result she becomes pregnant, is he obligated to marry her and is the child a mamzer? If meat is grown in a laboratory from a mix of various animal cells is it kosher, and is it even meat, and what bracha would you even say on it? Is a unicorn permitted to cleanse a poisoned stream on Shabbat using the innate purifying powers of its horn or does it count as work? Can it be justified as pikuach nefesh? Can necromancy be justified as pikuach nefesh, if one approaches necromancy with the understanding that it is just delayed medical assistance?

And if all else fails, you can always get out a fleischig pan, kick ass and take names, and don’t forget to say the blessing for fucking someone’s day up:

BARUCH ATA ADO-NOT TODAY ASSHOLE

That ending line just killed me so hard omg 😂😂😂😂

thekosheraisle:

How do the gentiles fathom us Jews capable of forming secret, hidden, wold-dominating cabals and cleverly ruling society, when many of us literally can’t even count up 49 consecutive days in a row? Seriously, how?

So true 😂

I lost my count about 20 days in this year…

darker-than-darkstorm:

theotherwesley:

geeofficerkrupke:

One time, the Queen of England decided to knight a loyal member of her country who happened to be Jewish. 

This man knew that knights were supposed to say something in Latin as the Queen knighted them, but didn’t remember the line, so he quickly said “ma nishtana halaila hazeh micol haleilot”

This, of course, confused the Queen, who turned to her advisor and asked “Why is this knight different from all other knights?”

There it is. The Passover Dad Joke. The Dad Joke Prime. The one all dads are born knowing, waiting for that first holy day when they can finally annoy their offspring with it. 

tetsuooooooooooo: “someone have mercy and explain this”

http://www.jewfaq.org/seder.htm

“The best-known quote from the Pesach Haggadah is, “why is this night different from all other nights?” This line is usually recited by the youngest person at the table (or at least, the youngest person capable of reciting it). It is meant to express the child’s confusion at the difference between a typical every-day or holiday meal and the unusual features of the seder.“

eretzyisrael:

Jewish Children with a Teacher in Samarkhand,1911

From the series:10 Photos To Remind You That Jews Don’t Fit Into A Stereotype (And Never Have)

There’s something so powerful about this picture.  Taken by a photographer named Sergei Mikhailovich Prokudin-Gorskii in a rare instance of color photography for the time, it beautifully captures a teacher and his pupils.

The funny thing is, most of us think of religious Jews, and especially Russian religious Jews, as only wearing black and white.  This colorful image destroys that conception, reminding us that Jews, for much of their history, and many of the places they lived in, were a colorful people.

source: popchasid

eretzyisrael:

Justo Sierra Synagogue – Mexico City

The historical synagogue in Justo Sierra was established in the early 1940s in Mexico City by Jewish immigrants from Syria , Mandatory Palestine and Greece and from Russia, Hungary, Lithuania and Poland who settled in the city’s center. It remains a part of the rich history of Mexican Jewry.